US Politics
US Politics
Tariffs
+2
May 12, 2025
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4 min read
WTF Truce?! US & China SUDDENLY Slash Tariffs After Weeks of Economic Mayhem
After causing global market panic with 145% tariffs, Trump agrees to a 90-day "de-escalation" with China, dropping rates to only 30%. He reportedly got "nothing" for the chaos.
Trump
+1
May 5, 2025
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4 min read
MAGA: Make Alcatraz Great Again?! Trump Wants to Reopen The Rock (To Jail Criminals... and Judges?)
Amidst global trade chaos and fights with the courts, Trump floats rebuilding the infamous island prison as a symbol of "Law, Order, and JUSTICE"... and maybe somewhere to put judges he doesn't like?
SCOTUS
+3
May 2, 2025
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4 min read
Trump Allies Sue Chief Justice Roberts, Argue White House Should Control Courts?!
In a lawsuit dripping with WTF audacity, Stephen Miller's legal group is suing SCOTUS Chief Justice Roberts, claiming core judicial bodies are actually part of the Executive Branch and under Trump's control.
Tariffs
+1
May 1, 2025
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4 min read
Senate GOP Kills Bid to Block Tariffs After 49-49 Tie; VP Vance Flies In for the Save
Despite market chaos and economic warnings, Senate Republicans (mostly) stick with Trump's tariffs, needing VP Vance to break a tie and kill a resolution aimed at stopping the madness.
Trump
+4
Apr 16, 2025
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4 min read
CRIMINAL CONTEMPT?! Judge Finds Probable Cause vs. Trump Admin for Defying Deportation Order
In a stunning rebuke, a top federal judge says there's probable cause the Trump admin committed CRIMINAL CONTEMPT by defying his deportation order, warning prosecution could follow.
Trump
+4
Apr 14, 2025
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6 min read
"Of Course I Won't Return Him": Trump & Bukele Openly Defy SCOTUS on Wrongful Deportation
Sitting beside Trump, El Salvador's Bukele laughed off returning a man the US admits it illegally deported to his notorious prison. Trump praised the arrangement and mused about sending US citizens there too.
Trump
+2
Apr 11, 2025
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4 min read
Trump Makes Showers "Great Again" While the World Burns: Is This a Parody?
While facing potential market manipulation probes, escalating trade wars, and mass deportations, the President has found time to wage war... on water pressure. Yes, really.
Tariffs
+2
Apr 3, 2025
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4 min read
Penguin Tariffs?! Markets Tank, GM Slumps & Allies Fume as Trump's Taxes Hit EVERYWHERE
Apparently "All Imports" REALLY Means All: Trump's new tariffs are hitting markets, US jobs, and remote penguin islands as the White House threatens even more economic chaos.
Tariffs
+2
Apr 2, 2025
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4 min read
"Raped and Plundered" No More? Trump Unleashes Wild "Liberation Day" Tariffs on... Everyone
President Trump just dropped the tariff hammer, declaring "Liberation Day" with a 10% tax on all imports PLUS extra fees for most countries. Allies are furious, economists are baffled, and your wallet might be weeping soon.
Musk
+3
Apr 1, 2025
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5 min read
Cash Cannon Politics: Musk Dodges Lawsuit, Hands Out $1M Checks at Pre-Election Rally
Forget bake sales, billionaire Elon Musk just upped the campaign finance game by literally handing out $1 MILLION checks before today's crucial Wisconsin Supreme Court vote. And yes, someone tried to stop him.
Trump
+2
Mar 31, 2025
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5 min read
Constitution? LOL. Trump Apparently "Serious" About Finding "Methods" for Third Term
Apparently, the 22nd Amendment is less a constitutional limit and more of a... suggestion? POTUS claims he's "serious" about finding "methods" to stick around past 2028. Deep breaths, everyone.
